[Dshield] Hard to Read this List Sometimes - Fundamentals about giving feedback and [positive] criticism

Peter Stendahl-Juvonen peter.stendahl-juvonen at welho.com
Fri Jul 26 18:46:20 GMT 2002

[I]                  Are the [official] recommendations now that all
messages should be sent to Dshield General DShield Discussion List
(list at dshield.org) in "plain text" only? How about the other list(s)?
[II]                 Or is for the describer to individually (per list)
decide in what format he/she prefers to have the postings sent to
Please kindly inform what would be preferred?
-- Peter
The best defense is attack! Attack people with your peace, with your
love, with your silence, with your joy - that's the best defense, and
that is a great service to the humanity too. -Osho Rajneesh
PS.                At the same time I would also like to take the
opportunity to thank you all for the positive feedback and positive
criticism both in public and in privacy.
I feel I have already made several mistakes myself in posting opinions
in this community.
Since I have written not-so-well-thought-out phrasings, please accept my
apologies for my mistakes and errata. I feel I have learned at least a
little and think I might have something to share with fellow readers and
authors in the Dshield community.
Again thank you - I appreciate the patience and understanding shown by
so many.
Here is something general what I would like to share with us all.
A)                  If you absolutely have to criticise someone's
behaviour it should be done in privacy - just between the two of you.
B)                  By all means show your appreciation in public. Other
people may well hear what positive you have to say to someone.
1) If you absolutely have to criticise someone's behaviour the
disapproval should start this way
-                    Begin by thanking and showing respect
2) How to criticise without arising hostility
-                    Point out people's mistakes indirectly
3) Start by telling about your own mistakes at first
-                    Talk about your own mistakes before you start
criticising another person
-                    And even then you should focus on the other persons
BEHAVIOUR OR ACT, not the person(ality)
4) Taking orders does not appeal anyone
-                    State questions and wishes in stead of (direct)
5) Let the other person keep his/her dignity
-                    Do not hurt the other person's pride
6) How to encourage people to succeed
-                    Show gratitude even for small progress and thank
for all improvement
-                    Let your warm appreciation show and thank
7) Good name as a driving force
-                    Give the person a good reputation to be upheld by
8) Make it look trivial to rectify a mistake
-                    Use encouragement. Make the mistake which you want
to be rectified look easy to correct and make what you want the other
person to do look easy or even trivial
9) Behave in the manner that people find it a pleasure to act as you
-                    Proceed in such a manner that the other person is
happy to do what you suggest
[Whether or not you consider yourself to be literately oriented please
consider reading -
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
- A book written a long ago, but probably one of the best self-educatory
works written throughout the history of mankind. The book does not teach
the theory of self-education but the practise and clarifies it by clear
and simple pieces of advice illustrating them by examples taken out of
real life.
The book has also been partially used as a source for this writing.]

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